How to Celebrate Gay Pride

John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.

Pride Weekend! For some of us the sight of rainbow banners and large crowds stirs the soul. We see lots of people who look like us – and lots of people who don’t. I remember how powerful Gay Pride marches were for me when I first moved to Atlanta from an Illinois town of 5,000 people. Seeing thousands and thousands of gay men and women would get me all choked up. It was a taste of heaven.

Times change. I live in a part of the city where many of my neighbors are gay. My partner and I hold hands when walking around the city, if we feel like it. I take it for granted that I’ll be treated respectfully when we go out for dinner or go anywhere around town. Being gay in Atlanta seems like no big thing, and Gay Pride is no longer the one day we get to be ourselves. Gay Pride has shifted from being a defiant political rally to a being a celebration complete with corporate sponsors chasing gay dollars.

So what to do with this whole “Gay Pride” thing? Here are some suggestions to keep our holiday meaningful:

Celebrate. It’s good to enjoy yourself. With all the problems we still face, there has been no better time to be gay than right now. Allow yourself to appreciate that. Enjoy being out with your friends. Better yet, cultivate a sense of gratitude, which is good for your soul.

Come out. After all these years, letting other people know you are gay is still the best thing you can do to change society’s attitudes. Refusing to keep your gayness a secret is good for your mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Never accept second-rate membership in society. Whether we’re talking about local politicians or the Pope, stop sitting in silence while others tell lies about us and our relationships. Speak out! Standing up for yourself will make you stronger. You’re registered to vote, right?

Remember that not everyone shares your good fortune. Not all queer folk live in big cities where it’s safe to put a rainbow sticker on their bumper. Consider joining state or national rights organizations that support equal rights for all people, including those who live in the conservative small towns you and I may have moved away from years ago. And remember your brothers and sisters living in faraway places like Iran or Zimbabwe, where being gay can mean being executed by the state.

Nurture the next generation. Remember how it was when you were young? Being a gay kid is still no walk in the park. Organizations for queer youth are always on shaky financial ground. Why not donate the cost of an evening out to Youth Pride or Rainbow House?

Challenge the idea that there is only one way to be gay. We’re a diverse community. Getting to know someone whose gender, race, age or physical condition is different than your own can feel uncomfortable, but it can also be very rewarding. Speak up if your friends try to be funny by dishing others. And question the notion that people who are buff, young and good-looking are somehow worth more than people who aren’t.

Practice safer sex. When you take good care of yourself and your brothers, you reinforce the message that our lives and our health are valuable.

Happy Gay Pride!

John R. Ballew, M.S., is a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Atlanta. He specializes in issues related to coming out, sexuality and relationships and spirituality. He can be reached via the web at www.bodymindsoul.org or at (404) 874-8536.