Gay Pride 2005

John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.

Another June, another Pride weekend. Atlanta joins communities from New York to San Francisco in celebrating the life of the LGBT community. For many of us, Gay Pride is a holiday that fits nicely between Memorial Day and Independence Day – just another lazy summer holiday. But Pride has also become a holiday for spending with friends and (chosen) family, a time when Atlanta’s rather non-political GLBT community announces to the world that yes, we’re still here, still queer, and y’all really better get used to it.

What’s different about Pride 2005? Is the whole idea of “gay pride” becoming a little dated? And what do you make of themes like the one Atlanta is using this year, “Unite and Act?” Is it a call to arms or just another logo on a t-shirt?

I’m struck by the increasing evidence that sexual orientation has a biological basis, even if we don’t exactly know how it works yet. Every month seems to bring new evidence that our brains work just a bit differently from our hetero brothers or sisters, or that under the watchful eye of scientific researchers, some species of bird, insect or small furry mammal has gone gay. No surprise to most of us that being gay isn’t something we selected. But if it isn’t a choice, how can it be a source of pride?

Sexual orientation isn’t a choice, but how we respond to it certainly involves lots of choices. We live in a culture where don’t ask, don’t tell is still the rule in more places than just the military. Keeping sexual orientation secret makes shame an ever-present part of life. It’s one of those things that often seems almost impossibly big before we do it, and relatively small after we’ve done it.

A year ago we were celebrating the first legal same-gender marriages. Progress was in the air (we thought). But last year’s elections left many of us feeling bruised and alienated as we watched our neighbors pass constitutional amendments in Georgia and elsewhere enshrining discrimination against us. If the spring was full of promise, the autumn was full of alienation.

It wouldn’t be a Pride celebration in Atlanta without a contingent of homophobic fundamentalists somewhere along the parade route. They may look silly after you’ve been out a while, but their banners represent the private demons of many closeted men and women. Last year’s election woke up some of us to the reality that Atlanta is a blue island in a red sea. Coming out and standing proud is as important as ever, and it often still takes guts to do it in the red state South.

That takes nothing away from the part of Pride that’s pure celebration. If living well really is the best revenge, then marching down Peachtree and dancing in Piedmont Park with 300,000 of your closest friends makes a great answer to those who imagine our lives are unhappy or unfulfilled. Stand up, speak out, and enjoy the festivities.

John R. Ballew, M.S., is a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Atlanta. He specializes in issues related to coming out, sexuality and relationships and spirituality. He can be reached via the web at www.bodymindsoul.org or at (404) 874-8536.